23 June 2026 · Sam

How to Choose a Dildo

Ava Noir — Dildo Guides

How Do You Choose the Right Dildo?

A complete UK buyer's guide — material, size, shape and type explained so you can choose with confidence and get the most from your first or next purchase.

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Material firstthe most important decision — choose non-porous always
Start smallersize up is always easier than buying too large first
Girth mattersmost experts say girth affects sensation more than length
No UK lawno regulation on sex toy materials — you must choose wisely
Choosing the right dildo is less about finding the most impressive option and more about finding the one that is right for your body, your experience level and what you actually want to feel.

The dildo market offers hundreds of options across every size, shape, material and price point. This guide cuts through the noise and focuses on the four factors that actually matter: material, size, shape and type. Get these right and you will have a toy you genuinely enjoy. Get them wrong and you will have an expensive disappointment sitting in a drawer.

Step 1: Choose Your Material First

Material is the most important decision. There is no UK law requiring sex toy manufacturers to certify their materials as body-safe, so the responsibility falls entirely on the buyer. Non-porous materials cannot absorb bacteria and can be properly cleaned. Porous materials harbour bacteria regardless of how much you wash them.

Material Body Safe? Feel Best For
Medical-grade silicone Yes Soft and flexible Beginners and experienced users alike — the most versatile choice
Borosilicate glass Yes Firm and smooth Those who prefer firm pressure, temperature play
Stainless steel Yes Very firm and heavy Those who want maximum firmness and longevity
Hard ABS plastic Yes Rigid Budget buyers who still want body safety
Jelly / rubber / TPE No Soft but porous Avoid — cannot be properly sterilised

Step 2: Choose Your Size

Start smaller than you think you need to. This is the most universal piece of advice given by sex educators for a reason: a toy that is too small is disappointing but a toy that is too large is uncomfortable. You can always size up. You cannot un-experience a first time that was painful or uncomfortable.

For a first dildo, aim for an insertable length of 12 to 16 centimetres (roughly 5 to 6 inches) and a circumference of 9 to 11 centimetres. These are moderate, accessible dimensions that provide satisfying sensation without being overwhelming. Girth tends to matter more than length for sensation — the G-spot is only a few centimetres inside the vagina so you do not need exceptional length to reach it.

Start With SiliconeMedical-grade silicone is the safest, most comfortable and most versatile material for a first dildo. It is soft, non-porous and easy to clean.
Size Down, Not UpAlways start with a modest size. Comfort leads to relaxation which leads to pleasure. You can always move to something larger once you know what you enjoy.
Consider Girth Over LengthMost experts agree that girth affects sensation more than length for most people. The G-spot is only a few centimetres inside — modest length is sufficient.
Think About Use CaseAnal use requires a flared base. Partner play may mean harness compatibility. Solo use may mean a suction cup. Your intended use shapes what features matter.
Curved for G-spot or ProstateIf G-spot or prostate stimulation is a priority, choose a curved dildo. A straight toy can reach these areas but a curve makes it significantly easier.
Buy From Reputable SellersCheap marketplace dildos frequently use undisclosed porous materials. Buy from reputable sex toy retailers who specify their materials clearly.

Shop Body-Safe Dildos at Ava Noir

Our full collection features only clearly labelled, body-safe materials. Browse silicone, glass and steel options — all available for discreet UK delivery.

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Step 3: Choose Your Shape

Straight dildos are the simplest and most beginner-friendly design. They are easy to use in any position and provide consistent stimulation throughout the shaft. A good starting point if you are unsure what you want.

Curved dildos are angled upward at the tip or throughout the shaft. This curve directs pressure toward the front wall of the vagina (G-spot) or the front wall of the anal canal (prostate). If G-spot or prostate stimulation is a goal, a curved toy is significantly more effective than a straight one.

Realistic dildos are designed to closely resemble a penis in shape and texture, including veins, skin-like detailing and sometimes a scrotum base. Many people prefer this for a familiar feel. Others prefer a non-realistic design.

Non-realistic dildos are smooth, abstract shapes without representational detail. Often sleeker and more discreet. Many people who find realistic designs off-putting prefer this style.

Step 4: Choose Your Type

Type Key Feature Best For
Standard / non-vibrating No motor — pure penetration Beginners, those who prefer manual sensation control
Vibrating dildo Internal vibration during penetration Those who want added stimulation during use
Suction cup Attaches to smooth surfaces hands-free Solo hands-free play, riding, strap-on use
Strap-on compatible Flared base fits O-ring harnesses Partnered penetrative play
Anal dildo Flared base, often slimmer and tapered Anal stimulation, prostate play
Double ended Shaft at both ends Shared use with partner, solo dual penetration

Related Guides

What Size Dildo to Choose Dildo Materials and Body Safe Options Types of Dildos Explained Back to All Dildo Guides

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the best dildo for a beginner?A medical-grade silicone dildo with a modest size (around 12 to 15 centimetres insertable length and slim to average girth) and a smooth, simple shape. Soft silicone is the most forgiving material and the easiest to clean. Start simple and explore from there.
Is a curved or straight dildo better?Neither is objectively better — it depends on what you want. If G-spot or prostate stimulation is a priority, a curved dildo is significantly more effective. For general penetration with no specific target, a straight toy is simpler to use.
Should I buy a realistic or non-realistic dildo?This is entirely personal preference. Realistic dildos appeal to those who prefer a familiar feel or aesthetic. Non-realistic designs are often preferred for their discretion and abstract aesthetic. Neither performs better than the other functionally.
How do I know if a dildo is body-safe?Body-safe materials are non-porous: medical-grade silicone, borosilicate glass, stainless steel and hard ABS plastic. The product listing should explicitly state the material. If the material is described vaguely as "soft," "skin-like" or "jelly," treat it as porous and avoid it. Buy from reputable retailers who are transparent about their materials.
Do I need a suction cup?Not unless you want hands-free play or strap-on compatibility. A suction cup adds significant versatility — floor, wall and furniture mounting — but a dildo without one is perfectly functional for standard use. If you want to ride a dildo, a suction cup is very strongly recommended.