23 June 2026 · Sam

How to Use a Dildo

Ava Noir — Dildo Guides

How Do You Use a Dildo?

A step-by-step guide to using a dildo safely and enjoyably — from preparation and lubrication through to technique, positions and aftercare.

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Step 1always clean your dildo before use
Lubeis essential — never skip it
Slowis always better than fast when starting out
Using a dildo well is less about technique and more about preparation, patience and knowing your own body.

Whether you are using a dildo for the first time or looking to get more from your experience, the steps below cover everything from cleaning and warming up through to positions and aftercare. Follow them in order and you will have a much safer and more enjoyable time.

Before You Begin: Preparation

Good preparation makes a significant difference to your experience. Before any use, clean your dildo with warm water and mild unscented soap, or a dedicated sex toy cleaner. Even brand new toys should be cleaned before first use. Rinse thoroughly and allow to dry or pat dry with a lint-free cloth.

Unless you are intentionally doing temperature play, warming the dildo under warm water before use makes it far more comfortable against skin. Cold glass or steel in particular can be a shock if not warmed first.

Clean FirstWash with warm water and unscented soap or a sex toy cleaner before every use. Rinse thoroughly.
Warm It UpRun under warm water unless going for temperature play. A warm dildo feels far more natural against skin.
Apply Lube GenerouslyUse water-based lube on silicone toys. Apply to both yourself and the toy. Reapply as needed.
Start With ForeplayArousal before insertion makes the experience significantly more comfortable and pleasurable.
Go SlowlyInsert gradually with small, slow motions. There is no need to rush. Depth and speed can increase as you relax.
Clean AfterwardsWash thoroughly after every use and store clean and dry. This keeps the toy safe for next time.

Step-by-Step: How to Use a Dildo

Follow these steps whether using solo or with a partner.

01Clean the dildoWash with warm soapy water or sex toy cleaner. Rinse well and pat dry. Do this before and after every use.
02Warm upRun under warm water for a minute. For glass or steel toys this step is especially important for comfort.
03Apply lubricantApply water-based lube to both yourself and the dildo. Be generous. Reapply whenever things feel dry.
04Foreplay firstSpend time arousing yourself or your partner before insertion. The body needs to be ready for comfortable penetration.
05Begin slowlyStart with the tip only. Use small, slow in-and-out motions. Vary the angle to discover what feels best for your body.
06Explore depth and angleA curved dildo angled toward the front wall of the vagina can stimulate the G-spot. Experiment gradually.

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Best Positions for Using a Dildo

The position you choose affects both comfort and the type of sensation you experience. Here are the most commonly recommended positions.

Lying on your back with knees bent is the classic starting position. It gives easy access and good control over depth and angle. This is the best choice for beginners.

On all fours can allow for deeper penetration and a different angle of stimulation. It works well for both vaginal and anal use.

Seated or riding works best with a suction cup dildo attached to a flat surface. You control the rhythm completely from this position, making it very versatile.

Standing offers a more intense angle and suits spontaneous use, particularly with a suction cup toy attached to a wall or shower surface.

Using Lubricant: What You Need to Know

Lube Type Safe With Silicone? Safe With Glass / Steel? Notes
Water-based Yes Yes Best all-round choice. Safe for all materials. Needs reapplying more often.
Silicone-based No Yes Degrades silicone toys over time. Fine for glass and steel.
Oil-based Check Yes Can degrade some materials. Not safe for latex condoms. Use with caution.

Using a perfumed or scented soap to clean a dildo, or a scented lubricant, can upset the vaginal pH balance and cause irritation or conditions such as bacterial vaginosis. Always use unscented, mild products. For a complete overview of lubrication, see our guide to using lube with a dildo.

Aftercare: Cleaning and Storing Your Dildo

Clean your dildo immediately after use. Non-porous toys such as silicone, glass and steel can be washed with warm water and mild unscented soap, or boiled for up to three minutes if they have no motor or electronics. Dry thoroughly before storing in a breathable pouch or the original bag. For full guidance see our page on how to clean a dildo.

Related Guides

Using a Dildo for the First Time Using Lube With a Dildo How to Clean a Dildo Back to All Dildo Guides

Frequently Asked Questions

Do I need lubricant every time I use a dildo?Yes. Lubricant reduces friction, improves comfort and protects both your body and the toy. Use a water-based lubricant for silicone toys and reapply as needed during use.
How do I use a dildo for G-spot stimulation?Use a curved dildo and angle it toward the front wall of the vagina during insertion. A gentle come-hither motion rather than simple in-and-out thrusting tends to be most effective for G-spot stimulation.
Is it safe to use a dildo anally?Yes, but only with a dildo that has a flared base to prevent full insertion. Use plenty of lubricant, go slowly and never use a toy without a flared base for anal play.
How do I use a dildo with a partner?One partner can hold and use the dildo on the other, or it can be worn in a strap-on harness for penetrative play. Communication about depth, angle and pace makes shared use much more enjoyable.
What should I do if it feels uncomfortable?Stop immediately and assess. The most common causes of discomfort are insufficient lubrication, insufficient arousal beforehand, or a size that is too large. Add more lube, take more time with foreplay or try a smaller toy.