23 June 2026 · Sam

Using a Dildo for the First Time

Ava Noir — Dildo Guides

How Do You Use a Dildo for the First Time?

A practical beginner's guide — choosing the right dildo, preparing properly and using it safely for a comfortable first experience.

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5–7"recommended length for a first dildo
Siliconemost recommended material for beginners
Lubeis the single most important thing to have ready
Slowalways begin slowly — you can increase pace later
Your first time using a dildo should be about exploration and comfort, not performance. There is no rush and no right way — only what works for your body.

It is completely normal to feel uncertain or nervous before using a dildo for the first time. The information below walks you through everything from choosing the right toy to the moment after you finish, so you can feel prepared and confident going in.

Choosing Your First Dildo

The most common beginner mistakes involve size — choosing something too large because it looks impressive, then finding the experience uncomfortable. Start smaller than you think you need to. A dildo between 5 and 7 inches in length and around 4 to 5 centimetres in girth is a sensible starting point for most people. You can always move up later.

For material, medical-grade silicone is the best choice for beginners. It is soft, non-porous, easy to clean and feels natural against skin. Avoid jelly, rubber or cyberskin materials — they are porous and cannot be properly sterilised.

If you are undecided on size or shape, our guide to how to choose a dildo covers everything you need to consider.

Start SmallA modest size is always a better first choice. Comfort builds confidence. You can explore larger sizes later.
Choose SiliconeMedical-grade silicone is soft, body-safe and easy to clean — the safest and most beginner-friendly material.
Have Lube ReadyWater-based lubricant is essential. Have it open and within reach before you start. Apply generously.
Create PrivacyChoose a time and place where you know you will not be disturbed. Feeling relaxed makes everything easier.
Warm Up FirstSpend time on foreplay before any insertion. Your body needs to be aroused for comfortable penetration.
Trust Your BodyIf something feels uncomfortable, stop. There is no pressure. Listen to what your body is telling you.

How to Prepare

Before you begin, clean your new dildo with warm water and mild unscented soap. Even brand-new toys should be cleaned before first use. Rinse thoroughly and pat dry with a clean, lint-free cloth.

Set up somewhere comfortable and private. Lay down a towel if you are concerned about mess. Have your lubricant open and easily accessible — you will want to be able to reach it without stopping what you are doing.

Run the dildo under warm water for a minute before use. A warm toy is far more comfortable for a first experience than a cold one, particularly if you have chosen glass or a firmer silicone.

Your First Time: Step by Step

01Clean and warm the dildoWash with unscented soap and warm water. Run under warm water before use so it is comfortable against skin.
02Apply lubricantApply water-based lube to both the dildo and yourself. Be generous. Reapply whenever anything starts to feel dry.
03Spend time on foreplayDo not rush to insertion. Spend time arousing yourself first. The more relaxed and aroused you are, the more comfortable penetration will be.
04Begin with just the tipStart with just the tip of the dildo. Let your body adjust before going deeper. Small, slow motions only at this stage.
05Gradually increase depthOnly go deeper when it feels comfortable to do so. There is no goal or target depth — stop at whatever feels good.
06Explore what feels goodTry different angles and speeds. A slight upward angle can stimulate the G-spot. Rotation can feel different to thrusting.

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Our collection includes a range of softer, smaller silicone options perfect for a first experience — all body-safe and UK delivered.

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What to Expect

For many people, the first time using a dildo involves a period of adjustment. It may take a few attempts before it feels really good — this is completely normal. If insertion feels uncomfortable, the most likely cause is insufficient lubrication or insufficient arousal beforehand, rather than anything being wrong with your body or the toy.

Discomfort and pain are different things. Some sensation of fullness or pressure is normal, especially early on. Sharp pain is not — stop if you experience it and try again another time with more preparation.

If you want to understand more about what to expect from the sensation itself, read our guide to what a dildo feels like.

Common First-Time Mistakes to Avoid

Mistake Why It Happens What to Do Instead
Choosing too large a size Thinking bigger is better Start with 5 to 7 inches and modest girth. Work up gradually.
Not enough lubricant Underestimating how much is needed Apply generously before starting and reapply throughout.
Skipping foreplay Excitement to get started Spend proper time arousing yourself first. Arousal prepares your body physically.
Going too fast too soon Nerves or impatience Begin slowly. Increase depth and pace only when it feels comfortable.
Using porous materials Buying a cheap toy online Always choose silicone, glass or steel. Avoid jelly or cyberskin.

Related Guides

How to Use a Dildo How to Choose a Dildo What a Dildo Feels Like Back to All Dildo Guides

Frequently Asked Questions

What size dildo is best for a first time?A dildo between 5 and 7 inches in length with a girth of around 4 to 5 centimetres is a sensible starting point. Prioritise comfort over size — you can always explore larger options later.
Will it hurt the first time?It should not hurt if you prepare properly. The most common causes of discomfort are insufficient lubrication and insufficient arousal before insertion. Go slowly, use plenty of lube and stop if anything feels painful rather than just unfamiliar.
Do I need a special lubricant?A plain water-based lubricant is all you need. Avoid anything scented or flavoured as these can cause irritation. Silicone-based lube should not be used with silicone toys as it degrades the material.
How do I know if I am ready for a larger dildo?When your current dildo feels comfortable and you want to explore more sensation, it is a reasonable time to try something slightly larger. Increase size gradually rather than making a big jump.
Can a virgin use a dildo?Yes. There is no physical reason why a virgin cannot use a dildo. Start with a small size, use plenty of lubricant and go slowly. For more detail see our dedicated guide to can a virgin use a dildo.